Words (part three)

Sick, worried, doctors, no, doctors, no, DOCTORS, ok, e-coli, antibiotics, sick, fever, ill, worried, crazy, pajamas, laptop, airport, here.

Sign, jacket, supplies, smiling, holding, trembling, holding, go, car, cigarette, kisses, holding, orange juice, nuts, pay parking, drive, tiny roads, countryside, too small, driving, smiling, talking, real estate, smiling, driving, castle. French, sunscreen, hats, annoying, tickets, swan, hissing, protective, don’t walk on the grass, castle, don’t touch, touch, look, read, awe, love you, walking, peering, calling from window, annoying people, smiling, laughing, don’t touch, touching, torture, leg brace, interesting, feeling better, smiles.

Outside, sunshine, walking, maze, laughing, competitive, center, exit, walking, holding, swinging, springing, grinning, bliss. River, bench, talking, smoking, touching, touching, kissing, touching, people, aliens, blanket politics, annoying children, people falling talking, laughing, bubble, kissing, legs on legs, flirting, bush, throw, no, gay guys, statue, Italian garden, feeling urgent, pictures for Mom, stay off the grass, exit, old church, pub. Bathroom, weird, bar, drinks, garden, entwined, smoking, kissing, urgent, car. Car, car, hot, oh my god, hot, staff, people, privacy glass, seats down, tampon, window, Fuuck, mess, tidy, pictures, loving, driving, need auto, bad girl, traffic, hotel, parked.

Hotel, 315, same, more stains, drinks at window, loving, Spar, my people, room, salad, eating, great, feeling better, oh my god, talking, oh my god, happy, bliss.

Work, nervous, actually easy, meeting, poor organisation, good performance, cheap skate, all gone, company, exploring, random, roll eyes, laughing, bad pub, risk e-coli, nice place, river, food, company, smiles, gin, bill, no, yes, no. Walk, train, bye company, smiles, Spar, room, great, talk, smile, flirt, fun, grinning, oh my god, drinking, oh my god, music, oh my god, late, smoking, tiny sleep, alarm, bumping, showering, coffee, towels, laughing, walk.

Work, tired, boring, stay awake, stay awake, walking, smiling, talking, work, boring, stay awake, bye everyone, hotel. drinks, smiling, laughing, flirting, out. fabulous, loving, walking, homeless, good food, smiling, holding, walking, smoking, waterfowl, pictures, laughing, feeding, squealing, grinning, love you, walking, holding, dark park, light, train, no, bar, train, store, laughing, shopping, gas station, nervous walking, hotel, drinks, drinks, dancing, playing, talking, late,oh my god, oh my god, love you. morning, wtf, sleeping, blog talking, snoring, twice, enjoy, beautiful. Train, fast trains, nervous, holding, train, drinks, bikes, bikes, pub, architecture, awe, loving, talking walking, sad, holding, walking, pointing, wedding, photos, bridge, people, talking laughing, hungry, pub, no, sad, other pub, talking, interesting, walking, hungry, amazing find, poor service, good food, holding hands, pub. Station, late, train, delayed, worried, arrived, store, walking, trouble, avoided, hotel, drinks, talking, dancing, flirting, serious, cigarettes, late, drinking, too much, sad, sad, ouch.

Alarm, really, oh my gosh, showering, packing, checking out, rushing, driving, red bull, talking, radio, annoying, driving, stroking, traffic, stroking, sadness. Parked, check-in, love is blind, our corner, holding, sad, ouch, crying, ouch, pain, bye.

Gone, love you, driving, traffic, services, coffee, gin, trash can, crying, bye baby, bye, need you, want you, be with me, numb.

Words (part two)

Her: ouch, flight, alone, anxious, home, drinks, sleep, awake, late, unpack, repack, rush around, bus, stupid suitcase, stupid bus, pulled back, ouch, flight delayed, delayed, delayed, really, leaving, taxiing, delayed, flying, anxious, late, arrived, stop, tidy, turn, he’s there, sign, smile.

Him: ouch, hand on chest, alone, happy, sad, flight, uber, stupid uber, stupid me, uber, hotel, bar, alone, company, max headroom, dinner, weird, bed, awake, rushing, no texts, blog, rush, meet, boring, work, good, boring, boring, go, airport, panic, where, check in, security, belt, through, company, arrgh, drinks, photo in bathroom, repack case, poor suit, rucksack, clumping, chatting, Vegas, waiting, great seat, worried messages, long flight, blog, write sign, vodka, mountains, city, land, messages, all ok, in sync, rush, gate, she’s there, turns, smiles at sign, hugs, kisses, safe, bliss.

Together: Uber, touching, kissing, looking, pointing, amazing, paris, what, really, wow, check in, 598, room, careful, out, wow, what, where, really, bar, stage, singing, flirting, slots, love you, love this, bubble, blur, days, nights, love, need, fuuck, drinks, staff, pain, tens, ice, ice, no ice, laughing, tears, wins, loses, drinks, smiles, tears, lost, found, bars, dirty bars, walking, holding, touching, kissing, talking, hard, easy, breakfast, hiding, breakfast, blur, cumming, drinks, love, sex, showers, rock star drinks, talking, phone calls, phone in purse, planning, tears, awe, laughing, loving, tens, breakfast, views, designers, people, cannabis, searching, strip club, no, walking, lying, floor, waking, mess, ranch, bucket, fire exit, scared, bathroom, dollars, blur, bubble, our bubble, sad.

Last morning, loving, laying, talking, crying, drinks, ice, breakfast, e-coli, leaving, taxi, bad driving, sick, stand, view, happy birthday, security, drinks, drinks, gate, cigarettes, leaving, bye,

Him: ouch, sobbing, ouch, cigarettes, slots, drinks alone, gate, newly weds, Kiefer Sutherland, upgrade, nice, sad, music, sleep, food, sleep, land, security, bar, cards, cigarette, tears, car, services, cards, photos, tears, ouch, house, kids, dog, numb.

to be continued.

Words (part one)

Low, down, she’s here, white wine, uber, don’t be down, arm in mine, flying, bar, people, awkward, games, drinking, talking smiling, pizza, gin, vodka, photos, smiling, lost, dancing, umbrella, arm in arm, rain, broken umbrella, rooftop bar, kissing, hands in hair, this isn’t me, kissing, two hands in hair, passion, your room or mine, room, bed, playing, kissing, playing, your not doing that, tongue, oh..

Doing that, talking size, snoozing, waking, loving, sofa, oh, mouth, saliva, teasing, no, oh my god, your turn, thank you, oh my god, morning, separate rooms, shower, breakfast, work, presentations, smell you, hugging, lift, kisses, airport, missed, gone.

Awkward, can’t stop, me too, oh my god, have to be, universe help us, ceo directive, omg, waiting, arriving, hotel, want to go to dinner, really, yes, spray tan, 503, on my way, doorway, t-shirt, stopped in my tracks, window, drinks, naked, swelling, pants, teeth, oh my god, oh my god, sleeping.

London, train, hotel bar, flirting, tube, river walk, street food, looking at pants, walking, hotel bar, arrogant people, flirting, kissing, bridge, boats, parliament, phone box, skaters, park, geese, people, bridge, palace, walking, nice people, palace, balcony, guards, park, tube, hotel, oh my god, oh my god.

Work, hard, stupid meeting, lunch, eating, secret flirting, uber, waitrose, stuff, bag, all bar one, stools, restaurant, olives, fish, chicken, flirting, flirting, taxi, touching, touching, hotel, oh my god, oh my god.

Work, really, worth it, evening, company, standing water, pub, annoying, taxi, bye, hotel, sad, shower, pain, drive, laughing, music, pain, pain, ouch, crying, ouch, bye ouch.

New boss, trip, yes, trip, planning, planning, planning, airport, timing, perfect, holding, holding, kisses, touching, uber, hotel, upgrade, nice, flirting, careful, out, bar, stools, flirting, wandering, kisses, poor service, hotel, room service, room service, room service, strips, fries, ketchup, laughing, smiling, oh my god, sleeping, waking, oh my god, touching, laying, talking, talking, scars, chaise longue, oh my god, streets, traffic, fighting, bourbon, bar, band, trouble, sex shop, slots, food, hotel, family, talking, confused, bed, awake, shower, oh my god, work.

Uber, waiting, uber, made it, meeting, biceps, company, uber, airport, plane, nerves, headphones, holding, talking, whispering, annoying noises, holding, stroking, landed, uber, hilton, she’ll go far, adjoining, food, bar, grandma, holding, phone, difficult, hotel, sad, belt, vaccuum, oh my god, morning, breakfast, bathroom, massage, happy, uber, lost, found, awkward, done, airport, food, bar, flight, swelling, stroking, landing, uber.

Hotel, uber, bottle shop, dinner, lube, uber, hotel, bites, uber, work, good, uber, airport, restaurant, death walk, drinks, food, ok, drinks, terminal, hand on chest, goodbye, pain.

Part two to follow x

White Noise

The sound of static interference, between channels on an old analogue TV set, the random white, grey nothingness on the screen, the sound of an analogue radio on the wrong frequency, sssshhhh. Often considering the sound of void, of nothingness but much like white light being all colours together, unfiltered, so is white noise. Not the absence of noise, but the fusion of every audible sound played in a random sequence.

Listening to the sea shore, waves breaking gently on the sand, this too is white noise, crasshh, hiss, woosshh, crasshh, rhythmic, soothing, calming, meditative, not void. Every waking moment without her feels like I am floating in white noise, nowhere and everywhere at the same time, with her across the distance. Holding her hand, stroking her hair, holding her tight, her head on my chest, feeling the warmth of her body close to mine.

Normal life and communication are like sound filtered by the white noise, people speak and I vaguely notice their lips moving, hazily aware at some level that I should be concentrating on the words just in case I am expected to reply. To be honest I really don’t care but my subconscious suggests I should be courteous at least. I don’t care, I’m lost in the white noise like an infinite comfort blanket, suppressing the world around me and transporting me to her. Blisss.

Lost in my blisss, the visible world becomes a blur, I see her in everything I see and do. Seeing things I know she’d smirk at, looking at random people and seeing nothing but her, she’s everywhere for me even when she’s not. I feel numb to the world, things affect me less, no extremes of emotion, a numbness for anything that isn’t her, when we speak, the lights come on, the TV and radio tune in, super clear, hi fidelity, crisp. We talk and plan, plot and fantasize, shit is getting real and we know it. I’m powerless right now otherwise I’d be on the next plane. Need to be with her in real life, bring the picture back into focus permanently.

The thought of waves crashing turn my thoughts elsewhere, the infinite hidden power of the ocean, swelling and rolling only perceptible when it meets the shore, slow crashing, pounding, receding, rolling, crashing, receding. Firm, controlled, rhythmic, the power behind it held back, only released during the height of a storm. This represents our passion to me, being with her, our bodies moving together, powered by our own ocean of desire, our souls tumbling in the rolling current of our passions, our wants, our needs, lost but together, random but rhythmic, anything goes, nothing matters. Oh my, oh my, fuuck. I need her with me, gripping her tight in this world of static, our bodies entwined, our spirit, consciousness as one.

My power, my light, my ocean of untapped energy, I can’t wait to be with you, to lose ourselves in our own oceans, our white noise. Thank you for bringing the world into brilliant, dazzling focus, for putting everything else where it should be, filtered, suppressed, cancelled out. I see only you in the void. Know I’m holding you.

Universe (god), you are the omnipotent white noise of existence, the universal ocean of being, pulling and pushing us on the currents of your infinite sea of fate. Bring her to me or me to her, use your tides, your waves to bring us together. Please, please.

Hungry

Work day over. Working alongside her, close enough to touch but not allowed, even sneaking meaningful looks was difficult. Somehow it wasn’t as difficult as I had imagined, we work well together, professional and insightful we make a strong team in public and get to share our observations and perceptions in private making us even stronger, invincible even. Standing by the window of 315, drink in hand, we recall and replay the day, shedding our work minds in readiness for the evening, so comfortable, so easy to talk. Bliss.

The first, carefully poured Vodka starts to course through our blood streams, easing the stress and strains of the day, allowing the transition away from work mode easier, we talk more, serious turning to funny, happy, dreamy, sexy. Need to get out or we we’ll spend the entire night locked in embrace, passionate, unbridled, lost together in our bubble. Nothing wrong with this idea, I’d trade anything to spend that time, all the time but we should eat and a flirty date will only fire our passions more.

Heading out, we hold hands, swinging our arms, that spring in her step that I love so much. You drive me wild you beautiful thing. Finding our platform we stand and wait, she grips me tight and buries her head against my neck as the fast trains rocket past, pulling at our clothes with turbulent air, I hold her tight and grin, I love to protect her, to feel her need me, I feel wanted, needed, powerful (plus I get to feel her body against mine). The train arrives and we find a seat, talking and smiling, pointing at countryside and landmarks, the transport takes us further into our bubble, untouchable we adventure together.

We alight and head quickly to one of our growing list of “go to” bars and sit at our stools (just the right height) and talk and laugh and flirt some more (there’s a pattern emerging). Hunger starts to remind us we are here for something mundane, fuel to power us through and we glance at the bar menu. Nothing of interest here, nothing I would consider a treat for her, nothing she’d put in her mouth and say “Mmm, that’s good!”. I mentally scan the area for places of interest and something springs to mind, I hope she likes the menu. Slipping from our stools we head out, hand in hand, swing and spring. We walk and talk, some serious, awkward questions, answered openly and comfortably, not awkward at all! We stop and sit under a beautiful tree to survey our surroundings, I’m watching the sparkle in her eye as she takes in the town and people. A homeless guy arrives and starts arranging his belongings next to us, we laugh at the obsurdity of the moment and move on.

The place was as I recalled, on the river and not too busy. The menu was appealing and so we went in, got a window table and sat across from each other holding hands across the table. Perfect, blissful, grinning we caress each others hands, bliss. Reviewing the menu we guess what each other may order and agree on starters, bliss. Olives and scallops arrive and I feed her sensually. So.Hot. Mains ordered and arrived in a blink of an eye, our time together seems to run a different course to normal, some moments last forever, other times, time evaporates while we lose ourselves in each other, surreal, precious time, ebbs and flows as we drift along together. “Hmm, this is good” she smiles with the first mouthful and my heart sings, I love to please her. Bliss.

We stroll by the river and she takes pictures of the swans, gliding by, we talk about real estate and investment, boats and sunsets, anything really, so comfortable arm in arm. Up ahead there is a huge gathering of swan and geese as a couple of girls feed them with a small mountain of bread. They kindly let us have some and I feed a few for fun, showing off a bit I guess. My heart melted when I persuaded her to feed one and she did it without mishap, squealing with delight, hugging me and grinning, her soul shining in her sparkly eyes. At that moment, I felt hopelessly in love, overcome by desire. Time to head “home”.

She was nervous in the park and we headed for the light, waited for the train in our goto bar. My ideas for the ride home were thwarted by passengers and CCTV, another time perhaps. A crazy trip to the all night grocers and filling station was an amusing final interlude before we arrived back safe indoors and could embrace one another. We talked and drank and made love, breaking new ground and losing ourselves in each other, again and again. Staying up into the tiny hours, not wanting the night, the passion, the connection to end.

Mind Fucking Blown Again, Every Fucking Time. NFM, AFG.

My goddess, my partner, my professional, my mentor, my companion in our surreal travels. Thank you for being you, thank you for inspiring me, activating me, renewing my delight in the mundane and for blowing my mind and letting me blow your mind in return. You are incredible, this is incredible, thank you.

The universe, you just can’t stop can you? Thank you. Keep it coming, show me the way. Looking for the next chapter, a big pile of money wouldn’t go amiss too. I’ll be in touch.

Field Trip

She came, again, to my piece of the world (universe). This time I was as prepared as I could be, there waiting, sign in hand, medical supplies and energy supplements just in case. I had some plans but didn’t know how she would be, how well she was and whether she’d just want to sleep, me mopping her feverish forehead. I was ready nonetheless.

As she stepped through the arrivals gate I melted again, grinning at her with my sign welcoming her to me, to here, to my arms. “Best sign in the airport” was a true and welcome statement. I held her in her pajamas, tight. Turns out I was trembling more than her and there was nothing wrong with me (well, nothing that could be fixed by antibiotics anyway). I could have stood there for hours, with the bustling airport going about it’s business just outside of our newly resurrected bubble but I also wanted her to myself, just us, naked or otherwise, both to be honest. Jet lag and illness had not disabled her as I had thought and a trip to something ancient and interesting was on the cards, I took her hand and we disappeared ourselves into the countryside through the winding back roads, lined with green fields and beautiful trees finding ourselves at an historical place to investigate together, the sun shining in it’s best attempt to make her feel at home, warm at least. She was home, where she belonged, in my arms. I was ecstatic. The universe came through again. Thank you for delivering her safe to me.

Protecting her from crazy waterfoul, I watched in rapture as she enjoyed everything, taking it all in, reading the facts and details as we explored together, well, she explored, I watched her light up with every site and detail , I touched stuff I wasn’t supposed (they shouldn’t put signs suggesting not to). We read ancient love letters and explored bedrooms and courtyards. Heading outside for a stroll in the grounds we found a place to sit alone and spent a dreamy time touching hands, skin on skin while we people watched and commented on the world, people, their failings and possibility of some being alien invaders, laughing at the world, telling stories of history and family, asking questions and swapping tales. That was timeless, priceless, incredible. Words fail me.

Our touches escalated, our discussions turned from innocent to flirty and beyond, she started eyeing up bushes to throw me into and have her way, fuuck, let’s get outta here. We found a pub that was about a million years old and continued our verbal explorations and clearly, she felt better than I could imagine and phase two of my plan was clearly a possibility. We headed back to the car, holding hands and swinging our arms like we were eighteen again, locking eyes and grinning the world paled again from within our bubble. Getting back in the car and running the aircon we kissed (electric), touched (earth moving) and decided, seeing as we were eighteen again we should do as teenagers do and make use of the privacy glass in the back. OH MY FUCKING GOD. She was back, with me and we were together. Grinning, sweating, trembling, we held each other before almost locking ourselves out of the running car (heart stopping) and started the journey onwards to the hotel.

It was cross country, the GPS avoiding motorways for some reason which afforded more pretty countryside, real estate and loads of time to talk. We still managed to mess around a little, no details here but you should know my next car will be an automatic.

Arriving at the hotel was familiar territory for us and they even came through giving us our requested room (seemed crazy to break a habit) thus today’s field trip was over but our adventure had restarted, the afternoon turned to night and we visited our go-to shop for supplies and, without giving the next chapter away, lost ourselves in one another anew, breaking new barriers, mentally, emotionally and physically. New escalations of our feelings and understanding of one another, breaking down walls and boundaries I hadn’t expected to on our first night together again. Fuuuck.

Note to self, we weren’t staying on five and the ice comes from the store.

My goddess, my universal partner, we seem to complete each other. You inspire me, make me vulnerable, activate me and make me strong, powerful, universally super. I need you with me, ALL.THE.FUCKING.TIME. I love you.

Universe, this must be destiny, it feels so right. You keep bringing us together and opening our hearts, minds and souls to each other. Thank you. Show me the way.

Sunset

She’s coming, again. Less than a week since we said goodbye and i walked from her airport gate with silent tears streaming down my face, she’s coming here, to me.

Complications are she’s not well and I’m worried, 6000 miles between us means I haven’t been able to care for her as she needs and she can be a little resistant to advice from afar, even from me as a doctor!

Realistically I think I instilled the need for sugar just in time and hopefully she’ll heed my advice, she really only needs to get here and I’ll make sure she has all the care she needs. She’s the most important thing in the universe and as such she needs the appropriate universal care. She’ll get that from me, that’s for sure.

I watched the sun set tonight knowing it was six hours before she would and, actually, it’ll arrive when she’s in the air heading this way. It was a good sunset but reminded me of the unbelievable distance between us, the planet turns too slowly for me to share the sunset with her when she’s home.

Home. Where is that. Where the heart is? Right now my heart is 5473 miles away and closing, 30,000 feet on the air. Its the only place I want be, the only place I belong, at her side, mopping her forehead and feeding her… you guessed it… sugar.

I’m now outside staring up at the sky, the stars are out and the big dipper is bright and clear, next time she sees that she’ll be with me, where I think she belongs, wherever we happen to be.

I’ve been alternating between numb, yearning, aching, impossibly powerful loving since we parted, a roller coaster doesn’t do it justice. Need is too simple a word, I have to have her with me. I’ve no idea where or how that’s going to happen bit it’s a constant, a certainty, the only way.

She’s flying now and I know she’s sick and scared and that hurts me more than anyone can know, I’m wet with tears but knowing that she’ll land here and, if I have to I’ll carry her to the car when she arrives. The fact that she’s made the trip against all odds tells me we feel the same. Whatever happens we need to be together. Crazy, perhaps but true.

Just a few impossibly long hours until she’s here and I’ll hold her so tight, just a few. Almost unbearable but I know it’s a constant, it’s going to happen. Be safe my love, eat sugar, please.

My love, my everything, never have I felt like this, be with me soon, safe. Distance is no longer just an annoyance.

Universe, I beg of you to keep her safe and deliver her to my arms, I’ll do the rest while you think about what happens next, please, please.

Grey

I woke this morning, foggy from the jet lag, numb physically and emotionally, feeling bereft and incomplete, a part of me is missing and she is 6000 miles away again. The sky outside was grey, a uniform nothing of a grey, no definition, no clear clouds. It strangely matched my mood, perhaps it’s the universe sympathising with me, perhaps I summoned into being. I know it fitted is all.

Dragging myself up and into a morning routine of sorts, I was like a zombie, an automaton but as I went about my tasks, I found tiny morsels of soul sustenance. Showering, I was transported back to the Rockstar glass of Vodka tonic in the bathroom of 598, hard not to smile at that memory, getting my computer out and putting it on charge, pulling flight details and hotel receipts from my bag, dewy eyed, a smirked and smiled. The tiny bottle of ketchup on my kitchen table reminds me of a bucket of ranch dressing.

Extracting my poor crumpled suit from its tiny suitcase I laid it on the bed, smoothed it with my palm and it instantly made me think of her doing that when I was in it. I love that suit. I love that sensation of her hand on my chest, I do it to myself as a poor substitute sometimes. Reminds me of saying goodbye at Houston as the transport zipped me away from her.

I grab the dog and head for the car, a walk in the forest is needed and I actually missed the stupid dog too, as cute as he is, it’s more that he is my unknowing accomplice to countless walks with my baby in the forest, running batteries flat, talking, laughing, cumming (sorry). By the time I get to the woods and stomp up the path listening to Goo Goo Dolls and Snow Patrol my spirits lift a little, smiling while walking and recounting the memories. Alone with my thoughts and memories I can transport myself, it hurts but it’s better.

As I walk and think about our next meeting intertwined with the billion moments of the last ten days, the sky brightens, and the sun starts to try to break through, the grey turning to a glow, golden in places. Hmm, is this reflecting my mood or the universe showing support? Freaky.

A friend calls and we address some awkward questions, we resolve them quickly and we are back on track, talking about business and the elements of my last week. Telling the relevant parts of the story affords me the chance to bask in the glow of that chapter from a different perspective, careful to keep the important parts in my own mind but enjoying them nonetheless. Even able to talk about that place in the desert a little, transporting myself again. I felt renewed as we finished our discussion, we are business focused, all the concerns and points covered, plans for the days meetings in place. Mischief managed.

Now I’m provided the luxury of basking myself again in her glory, her skin, her body, our times, our tears, our laughter, our desires. I ache for her, I yearn to be with her but I am sated a little with the memories.

Emails and tasks list ensued, distracting me further but at least the sun is shining now. In no time at all, she appears, reaching out across the void and my heart beats hard, butterflies anew, we’ll be talking soon, although that seems to be taking forever.

To my sunshine, my eternal light, my erotic, sensual goddess, distance and time-zones are killing me again, I alternate between pain, sorrow, wet eyes and joy, laughter, desire. I’m incomplete without you. “I’d give up forever to touch you”

Universe, you bring the grey when I’m numb, the sun when I smile, now show me the way.

No Ice On Five

Incredible times are made up of tiny details, seemingly insignificant nuances, moments that are out of context or irrelevant things that, when taken out of the reality they were part of would seem to pale into insignificance, but it’s the bigger picture that pales and shrinks away in the light of these tiny things.

I’ve just experienced ten days made up of a billion tiny details, each one taking things to a new dimension, a higher factor by an order of magnitude, life changing tiny details. Too many to recount, they fall into that blur, whirlwind, tornado of experiences, like a jigsaw in a blender. I’m changed, I’m evolved, I’m recreated in a new world (universe). I’m not ready to explain some of the fundamentals of this yet, my words fail me, but I wanted to mention a few of them nonetheless.

If I were pressed to put a name to some of these stitches in time, I would try with simple descriptions like… Chicken tenders, chaise longue, young band, carpaccio, Irish band, “go to” bar, bad band, cigar guy, pink bikini, TENS unit, trapped tampon, tabasco is not an “extra”, room service tray politics, queue woman, wedding group and random guys, Carlos and Mary, sowing kit (tin). They really they are so numerous to do them justice here because, as I mention above, they are the whole point, the sown threads (cotton) in the rich tapestry, each stitch in the bigger picture. It’s important to note that the “bigger picture” wouldn’t exist without the details that bind them together.

Several of these tiny facets stand out among the others so it’s worth recounting the one that gave birth to a theme, a title, a smile built into a few words, one that had us both in hysterics several times.

I went to get ice, not properly dressed (no underwear) so I could make us a drink at an almost acceptable time of day. Being in the room at the end of a corridor, it was quite a trek to the Manitowoc machine in the “ice” room so I ran, meeting no-one (no doubt they’d think I was mad sprinting the corridors if they did). Arriving at the machine, I put the ice bucket in place and pressed the “button”. Lots of noise of churning and ice cube jumbling came from the machine, but no ice came out.. Broken, busy, still freezing? I don’t know but clearly no ice here. I summed up the alternatives, return with no ice (hmm, not really an option), find staff (yeah right), go to another floor (good call).

I took off for the elevators and hit the up arrow, rode a lift to sixth and found a working ice machine, filled my bucket and returned to the elevators.

It appeared that the elevators were busy due to time of day and some maintenance (watch this space for another story) I pressed the down arrow and inconvenienced a packed elevator car full of people with suitcases and a fat lady in an electric buggy thing. Shuffling into the corner of the car, as I cradled my ice bucket to me and pressed the button for the fifth under the watchful eye of the crowd, I felt the need to give an explanation for stopping them, not once but twice on their journey.

“Ice machine broken on five” I said, to everyone and no-one in particular.

“Bummer” came a reply, which lifted the mood and I replied, “Not a big trip to sixth”. The doors opened, and I shuffled out, sprinting back to my baby.

“No ice on five” was the statement I delivered when I returned to our room and it stuck as I recounted the story and we laughed so hard we had tears on our faces, re-running the scenario over and over. Tiny micro-stories in the context of the week (10 days) but this one so significant it added to our vocabulary permanently, somehow summing up the bubble we existed in, our own reality full of love and countless orgasms (sorry).

To you, my omnipotent being, my love, my life. It gives me an all over warm feeling when I think of how comfortable we were by the end of this most recent chapter, I truly feel evolved alongside you. Thank you for every moment, your statement “Happy birthday baby” had me stopped in my tracks, tears in my eyes, swelling in my pants. Soon, my love, soon together again.

Universe, you did the time distortion thing again, just not long enough. The reality bubble you provided was incredible, but I need more, so much more. Please, I am at your mercy.

Mountains

Mountain country is beneath me, the start of it anyway. Barren, rocky wasteland. I know the ground level will start to rise and the peaks will start. I’m looking out of the window, guessing you are out there somewhere, a different heading aiming at the same destination. I know you’ll be scared, I know you’ll be looking at the mountains as they rise up beneath you, looking like they will touch the plane. I wish I was with you, to hold you and distract you, to laugh with you and whisper in your ear.

I see the first peaks now, huge lumps of ground pushing up into the sky, incredible scale, vast distances with nothing but rock, the peaks now showing snow, how tall are those things? Mind bending. I feel close to you now, you told me to look, you told me to enjoy, you booked me a window seat so I could look. You knew I’d love it even though you wouldn’t, you are incredible, I wish I were with you now.

More now, orangey sunset reflecting off the snowy peaks, the shape of the ground is as if it’s a carpet of roughly scrunched velvet. A few clouds drifting over, let’s see if the peaks show through.

Announcement: A little over an hour to go, I wonder if you’ll be there too. I made a sign.

I can’t wait to be with you, the butterflies are back, I’m renewed, energised, reminded of the want and need I feel when you aren’t here, with me, where I think you belong. I’m running the scenarios again, what will happen when we meet, when we see each other, will you want me, will you be disappointed, will you kiss me. I know I’m going to hold you A.LOT.

I’m excited about the next phase of our adventure, I have no idea what it entails, everyone says the destination is incredible, unbelievable, surreal. Honestly, if you are there, I care about everything else much less, I’ve some ideas for our adventure, imagination restored. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, this short interlude has certainly been an eye opener for me, but I’ve found some plus points and turned the negatives to an artistic output. Watch this space

My love, you’ve endured so much this week to be with me, I’m flattered, humbled. I guess I should take this as the ultimate validation and stop with my wobbles, thank you, thank you. I love you, all of you. I owe you a massage, pain relief and a whole load of pampering, expect it.

Universe, this planet is incredible. I need to see more, I need to show my goddess more, I want to share it with her. Make it so, please.