Miles

I’m feeling the miles between us this morning, yearning for her touch, her smell, her kisses and and. I close my eyes and I can feel here presence, the warmth of her body as if she is standing an inch from me, can smell her sweet skin, my nectar. I lean forward as if to kiss her, knowing what it’s like and how her soft lips feel, I can almost feel her breath on me, imagining her eyes as I crane my neck further. I sat like that for over a minute, like she was a fraction of an inch from me until I could bear the suspense any longer, then allowed myself to imagine kissing her. As if we’d just met at the airport, gentle, loving, kissing the corners of her mouth, before just pressing our lips together and just holding each other tight, flames of passion awakening but holding back, delayed gratification she always says, won’t be much of that next time she is in my arms, just closing my eyes as I am and thinking of her has my body ready for her, physical reaction always, often, achingly often.

I distract myself with chores and dream of our travels, our adventures and the miles we’ve travelled, the airports and hotels, the Airbnb, the trains and tubes and Paris Metro, smiling always, I know where my belt goes. My science mind kicks in sluggishly and I look at the world, the globe and start to wonder how much of it we’ve traversed together. San Francisco the furthest West (124 degrees West to be exact) and Paris the furthest East (2 degrees), that means we’ve navigated 126 degrees of the earth’s circumference, just over a third, incredible, who lives like this ?. It sounds enormous but everything pales into insignificance when she is with me, distance no longer matters, the world a blur. I long to travel with her again, explore the rest, everywhere, anywhere with her hand in mine, her eyes on my eyes, our lips pressed together, our hips fixed together in naked embrace, nothing between us, the world our playground. One day closer.

In the meantime, I wait and dream and plot and plan, evolving our love, our intellect, our passion, exploring her from afar, when we talk I am by her side and her by mine, living apart but together, working and learning and evolving together, at the weekend even making love, holding, unbridled passion, I crave her always, counting the minutes constantly. Next time we are together there will no doubt be some global event as the passion and love we’ve been keeping pent up is going to ignite, likely cause weather patterns to change and the earth to tremble but we won’t care, we’ll be locked in embrace, got to hold her.

Lord, I pray often and you show me signs, bringing her to me virtually when I need it most, help us to come together soon, I implore you, show us the path, I love her.

Universe, my offerings are constant and you are doing well on the money front, I’ve done my part but now is the time you need to pull it out of the bag before one or both of us explode. Your move

ILY IMY IWY INY CS

Sunset

As I sit in the quiet and watch the sunset wistfully, I think of the sun disappearing over my horizon and creating the orange glow before twilight and I think of her, of that same sun shining on her for her afternoon. It leaves me with beautiful color but it goes on to shine for her day, lighting her face as she looks from her office window and thinks of me. The same sun, shining on us both, connecting us across an incomprehensible distance, holding us together, the same sky, sometimes light together, sometimes the opposite but always the same sky, joining us always.

You could say that I am lucky, to see the day first but it is a double edged sword, I wake at day break and often like today, as she goes to sleep, I start my day and think of her beautiful sleepy face, had enough for the day as I drag myself to start a new one. I love checking out the day for her, will today be a good day, will it bring new news or chaos or joy? I’ll be first to know as the sun works it’s way across my sky and I wait for her to wake. Protecting her from the day ahead and ensuring she is prepared even when asleep, love to protect my angel, my goddess, always at her side.

Last night / morning, there was a single star as daybreak happened here, shining in my West and, by my calculations, right above her. I stared at it as the beacon it represented but imagined it shining on her house, her window, maybe through the window onto her sleeping face, it was a powerful symbol, a gateway to her. A sign that we aren’t so far apart really, distance is just an inconvenience, we can love each other without boundaries, love doesn’t consider distance, our love isn’t less because of the miles. When I hear her voice, the effect is instant, it doesn’t take six hours of time-zones to kick in, it’s instant. When she wakes in the night (or wakes me), we are together instantaneously, tumbling, holding, loving each other, who cares where, nothing matters.

My love, my goddess, all I want is for the sun to fill your day, fuel you and warm your skin, recharging that summer scent I dream of smelling again, I watch it as it leaves me and smile knowing it’s there for you as my day ends. Look at it and think of me holding you and burying my face in your neck. Next time you see the sunrise as you stumble out the door to walk and talk with me, stop and look to the sun and know it is shining on me, on us together, connected, forever. The stars too, almost more so, we see those together and if you look to the East when it’s dark, there will be one shining on me, know I’ll be looking and thinking of you my angel.

Lord, thank you for the sun, the stars, the beacons and signs you keep sending me, sending to us. I feel you answer my prayers often, just keep her safe until I can get to her, let her feel my love always, channel it to her. Thank you for her, for bringing us together and keeping us that way, I continue to pray.

Universe, you’ve actually been good to me recently, just need you to up your game a little, I keep sending you the visalizations and releasing my burdens to you. Where you at?

SILWY CS MY WY Run to me,

Period

She has the most incredibly perfect cycle, you could almost set your watch by it, that part of her works so incredibly efficiently, it’s not a surprize to me that my angel would be so perfect. It is that place where miracles happen, life is created, the center of her as a woman. Countless periods come and go and it has always been important to us for obvious reasons. The “rhythm method” is how we roll, although we’ve had some fun with condoms too (sorry).

There was a place when we stayed on an extraordinarily personal journey but also had the most amazingly uninhibited sex, a dichotomy.. It was a night of one knee and rings and promises and belts and tying and taking and and and. It was a very sensitive part of her cycle and that was part of it, I’m not great at control but I did my best and she warned me, I wanted nothing more than to complete my pledge to her with the ultimate pledge, the ultimate union, but I was well behaved, reckless – yes, want to have her bear our child – yes, irresponsible – no. I love her and want nothing more for her but I can’t bear to be apart from her on a normal day, let alone nine months of pregnancy!

Another place it was a close call, we laughed about my terrible dismount, but I did, just… I’m no porn star or well controlled guy, I’m just lost to the passion of the moment, to her beautiful eyes, our love and sometimes, stuff like that is lost, timing was close for sure.

I remember that time with love but also confusion at the time, we had shared a personal call with relatives and I felt so close to her, letting me in and sharing her life with me and then we flirted. Her on the sofa in the suite, me on my knees in front of her. I touched her and she flinched, pushed me away. I was lost and confused, took an age to understand and I’m not sure she really knows my side to this day.

Her center, her core, her feminine nucleus, the place that makes her a woman, so complex and intricate and elaborate and confusing and complicated, enigmatic even, I often want to kiss her there, to worship her there, to embrace her womanhood. To wrap my arms around her and touch her anywhere, but the center of her is special, sacred, to be worshipped. I know now that it is synonymous with weight and size (which she has nothing to be concerned about fyi!) and that is why the reaction but that has never, EVER, crossed my mind. Her center, her stomach is sacred and special to me, as much as her lips (all of them), her eyes, her neck, her ass, her sex. I’d fall at my knees and kiss every inch (very few) of her body if she’d let me and hope that she understands that I worship her, her mind, her heart, her body, her womanhood.

Obviously, as a perfect goddess, she isn’t affected by any hormone changes during her cycle but nonetheless, I do my best to treat her as she deserves, with love and admiration and special worship during this time. She is my goddess, my angel, my incredible woman and now and again, a chocolate or fried potato goes a long way. I wish I were there to give her everything she needs, whether it is extra breakfast or running for tampons or maybe something to ease the cramps ? , Amazon has let me down on the former, time zones and distance on the latter. Breaks my heart to not be holding her, my deity, my woman, my angel.

My Goddess, I fall at my knees in front of you, metaphorically, mentally, intellectually, physically, feel my love and feel my worship, even taste my potatoes, I wish I were there or you were here, we were anywhere. Run to me.

Lord, be kind to her and ease her cramps in my absence, dull her pain and make her feel my love. Faith is love right? Well I have enough love for her to fill the world, it is all yours, give it to her

Universe, thank you for keeping us together and not letting catastrophic things happen, kind of your turn now. I’m waiting.

Couple

Couple. What does that mean? The dictionary defines it as follows: Noun: Two people or things of the same sort considered together. Or.. Two people who are married or otherwise closely associated romantically or sexually. Verb: Link or combine (something) with something else. Or. Mate or have sexual intercourse.

Then Yes, we are a couple by dictionary by definition but so much more..

I’ve been spending this evening busying myself while she works, my angel, finding her way in a new environment, trying things and being amazing, some paths she tries don’t end well but she just works it out, retraces her steps and finds a new path, navigating the confusion of a new place, like a medieval maze (we’ve been there too!) and forging forward always. I don’t feel worthy of being proud but.. I am.. My heart is bursting with pride, watching her work her magic, finding her way. I hold her and encourage and support her as I can but she does this alone and I watch in awe, my goddess, rising from the earth and taking another challenge on, watching my angel fly.

I sit here in clothes that are related to us, jeans that are ours in so many ways and have travelled with us on our adventures, the shirt that I was wearing on the day that she let me take her in my arms and and and, the socks I bought anxiously waiting for her while she visited with an elderly relative, the underwear she bought for me on my birthday and made me cry. I am an embodiment of us, a walking example of our love, of my love for her. She works at a computer with gifts from me in plain sight, in her hand, trinkets really, but meaningful beyond compare, my love for her, right there in her plain sight.

She often says how she should be more like me, more this or more that but I refute that, we are crazy about each other for all the reasons we are, because we balance each other, together we make sense, together we compliment each other and are the best of everything. Together we have found a love, a passion, a mating that surpasses everything that has come before, on all levels, intellectual, physical, spiritual, soulful. Nothing matters, anything goes when we hold each other virtually or physically. The world falls away and everything feels Oh.So.Right. It’s a challenge to us because it’s broken some rules we hold dear but our love, our attraction, surpasses everything and, together, there is nothing greater.

I have never felt so close, so ignited, so capable, so awakened in every way. Are we apart? Yes. Will we be together? Yes. Will the next chapter of our lives make the rest pale into insignificance? Yes. I feel that from the bottom of my soul to the tips of the hairs on my body that stand aloft when she speaks. Yes. We are a couple.

We are a couple when we talk about children (Present and future) about sensibilities and values, about wanting the best and valuing patience given, now and by our own parents. It’s like understanding the world anew with her. How did I never notice it existed before? No matter, it’s here when I look in her eyes, at her beautiful face, when I hold her hand in mind (and and and).

We are a couple when I would happily say “I forsake all others for her”, but it’s a stupid statement, I want no one else but her, to be in her arms (and and) is bliss like I have never known and I crave nothing more than her and oh boy, how I crave..

Lord. You have broken some rules by bringing us together but clearly, it was meant to be, guide us both with what we need to weather the storm and find the next chapter, I am on my knees to you always.

Universe, well, hey there.. I’m keeping up with the visualizations, where are you at?

My Love, my goddess, I’ve missed writing to you, for you, for us. It’s not my greatest work but it’s a start. I love you and hope you take my hand and think of us as a couple in every sense of the word. You activate me as I support you. Fly high but hold my hand my angel. The pedestal is all yours my love, my goddess. I love you, hold me tight and run to me without barriers.

Smile

Today I got to watch her as she worked. This isn’t the first time but it was the first time I looked at her and watched in a way that I wasn’t caught up in myself. I saw her light up and shine. I saw her smile light up the room. I watched her glow and exceed expectations, I watched her learn and consume information. You know what really blew me away. I watched her smile.

I watched her smile not from some kind of instance of gratification, from anything I had done or wanted her to smile for, just watched her smile. Real life. Smile. I hadn’t realized how much I miss that. Believe me, I miss her smile every day and have said to her “Show me a real smile” but today, I saw it, it wasn’t caused by me, nor anyone else, just her being her. I wasn’t jealous or afraid, my heart just sung. My God, that was powerful. Powerful enough for me to want to put “pen to paper” after a little time away.

She doesn’t know I’m writing this and looks nervous on screen, I wish she’d feel what I’m doing. I made a gesture to let her know, I hope she does. Watching her face, I realize I know her better than I should, given the time we’ve known each other. I honestly think we were chosen to be together, we fit together so well, not just physically (don’t get me started) but everything else, together on our opinions but also balance where we don’t agree. Balance, the universal constant. It’s a passionate thing to be sure! Perhaps another post on that matter.

Back to her face, her expressions, her inner workings, her eyes, her mood. I see it all. Watching her work is incredible, so comfortable. I see where she is learning, consuming, another shared passion, she doesn’t just listen, she absorbs, she focusses, a shortcut to her mind. We are the same in that respect, we consume knowledge with a passion, always learning, growing. A day without new knowledge is a sad day indeed. Watching her frustrated (but amazingly patient) with technology which stands in her way, watching her follow instruction and taking it in, processing, it’s so incredibly attractive to me. It may sound strange but I can see exactly where she is at from her lips, her cheeks, her brow. Comfort level, whether processing or consuming or telling what she knows. So confident, so humble, all consuming. I love her.

I am as close to sitting with her as she talks, listens and learns as I can possibly be. It’s not close enough by almost exactly 6000 miles, but it’s incredible to watch from a distance. She is now showing her prowess by talking about what she knows, God I love that, smartest girl in the room. Consuming knowledge without breaking step. Always.

My Goddess, your are incredible. Incredible to watch and incredible to follow. You exceed in everything you do and just need to choose what that is. I wish for our next chapter every day, I want more than anything to put our intellect together and take on the world. One day closer my love, don’t stop being you.

God, thank you for keeping us together. It’s been a tough ride since October and the world has changed. We’ve spoken often, please continue to keep her safe and fuel our love. I am your humble servant as always.

Universe, good work so far but I need some results, only so many visualizations a man can do. Bring her to me or me to her. It’s overdue.

Transformation

It was a year ago (well yesterday actually) when there was a paradigm shift. Just three days since we had been together for the first time, although I’d always felt close to her and had spent many hours speaking to and interacting with her, it was only three days ago when we were truly “together” physically. Three short days and many long phone calls, exploring and sharing and discovering each other since we’d flown away from each other for the first time, we started sharing intimate feelings, secrets and memories. It was on the anniversary of my Father’s death that I disclosed how I felt and why this part of the year is tough for me, she embraced my feelings and gave me love and emotion in response. It is still amazing to me that we became so close so quickly but I can’t help but believe this was the Lord, the Universe at work. It didn’t feel awkward or oversharing, nothing was off the table, just oh so right. From that moment on, our relationship bloomed as we plundered new depths of each other, new memories shared, feelings and childhood memories, wants and desires, some completely new exposed by our connection. Always just felt right, like we should have known each other forever, perhaps we did somehow.

I often wonder what would have happened had we met much earlier, had we found each other somehow and I think it would have been just as right, just as beautiful, just as passionate but I also believe that we were meant to come together at that time, when we’d had experiences, we’d lived life, we knew ourselves to a certain extent and that allowed us to see for certainty why this was different, so different, so magical, igniting passion like never before, exposing our desires, our feelings, our ambitions, activating me, exposing the Super Me, uncovering her a il bit. I have confidence that our paths were meant to cross at that time, that moment and as such, we could tumble together and share so quickly, so deeply, like we were making up for lost time. Every day waiting and thinking and talking and waiting and thinking and longing and and.

This time a year ago was truly a transition and revealed to us that we could be so close, the paradigm shift. I’m so happy that she embraced me, took my virtual hand and found my vulnerability attractive, sexy, she even said intimidating, I’d never seen it that way but she raised me up and guided me to her, to be at the side of my Goddess felt amazing, igniting the Super Me and making me feel like I could achieve anything with her hand in mine and that has proven itself time and time again since, bending the world to our will and making our destinies intertwined, together we have great power.

So here we are at the very start of the new year, a new chapter, far apart as we were then but ever hopeful we’d find a way but had no idea when. Now is the same although with even more uncertainty but I want to remember and never want to stop sharing and exploring and understanding her, my enigmatic Angel, my love, my Goddess. I don’t know the exact date but is was during this time there was also a birth of the term (and it’s acronym) Anything Fucking Goes, Nothing Fucking Matters, describing tumbling and turning with each other, no boundaries, no misgiving, no fear, just to be us, as we will, as we want, exploring ourselves and each other. Learning about each other and ourselves, discussing wants, needs and desires some always present, some that even surprised us, but starting with passion, coupled with depth of emotion, supported by intellect, this thrust us into the next evolution of ourselves, our lives and us. I cannot wait for the next dive into the waters of her, of us, immersing ourselves together, I am crazy about her and want to learn, share and evolve with her more every day.

My Goddess, my Angel, my Princess, you ignited me, awoke me a year ago, you allowed me to penetrate more than just your body, but your mind, your emotions, your soul. Am I forever grateful that you did and crave every day to continue our journey. Thank you for being you and letting me in. I am on my knees looking up at you as you shine, I love you.

Lord, we’ve grown close this past year and you’ve proven to me without any doubt that you are watching and listening, gently guiding and supporting, I implore you to continue to keep her safe and show us the way. I am at your mercy.

Universe, I have a feeling you are up to something, let’s get together later for some one on one time, I need a word.

ILY, IWY, I thank you, PB

Movement

When I think about her, I imagine her face, her smile, those eyes, that body, like snapshots in my mind. It doesn’t matter how many pictures I have, it’s never enough, I crave to see her and am thankful for my memories but I realised today what I miss most. The way she moves. I’m picturing her now, just going about mundane tasks, maybe brushing her long dark hair or moving around the kitchen or working at her computer. I’ve talked before about the cadence and rhythm of her voice and her movements have a similar intoxication for me. Her rhythm, her cadence as she moves, lithe, purposeful, a secret dance, connected to the music of her soul. I’m thinking of her dancing, the way she dips her hips, walking, how her elbows come in to play when there’s a need to move quickly, strolling, how she swings her arms, hand in mine, the spring in her step when she’s feeling joyous, the way she’ll turn her head and just catch my eye, a smile forming, the way she throws her head back when she laughs spontaneously. Yes, her movements are what I miss, I could watch her forever, I hope I get to.

It is not just the mundane though, it’s how she’ll lose herself to me, how she bucks and quivers as I make her come. How she takes me in her mouth, there’s a rhythm there too, I can picture it now, she’ll take me deep again and again and then pause and look up at me with those eyes, saliva running from her lips, an arousing picture but it’s the way she moves that really gets me hard. How she pushes back against me as I take her from behind, the way she twists her beautiful neck to look back at me, the imperceptible nod, another rhythm, a secret rhythm reserved just for us. The way she’ll slide smoothly and sleepily towards me and lay her head on my chest afterwards, always effortless and familiar, another movement I crave. Her rhythm is hypnotic to me, pictures don’t do that justice, don’t do her justice.

Perhaps it’s just that we are meant to be together, compatible in every way, her movements seem to ignite my mind and my heart, watching her move turns me on, along with everything else about her but movements are so natural and deeply rooted, it’s a window on her soul, her secret dance, I can tell how she’s feeling just watching her. I see her and I love her, crave her, need her.

My goddess, I love how you move, I love to watch you, I can see you now, tiny movies playing in my memories. Can’t wait to make some more of those. I love you, I adore you, I am hypnotized by you, I want you to be moving against me, with me, let the world slide away. One day closer my love.

God, I pray to you every day now, asking for guidance and helping me find the path back to her, I didn’t realise it would be such a long path but the best things require the greatest effort, I’m learning my lessons but I implore you, help me see her move again.

Universe, wtf?, I’ve been a bit busy to be in touch recently, I’ll be having a word with you really soon

West

In the morning I stand in the garden and stare West. I feel my heart and soul reaching out into the distance, rounding the horizon and searching for her. My entire consciousness feeling, reaching, fumbling into the darkened side of the world, seeking her out and wrapping my virtual arms around her. Trying to whisper in her ear and tell her how much I love her, need her, give her whatever she needs. It’s a routine, a mantra, a form of meditation I do every morning to align myself with her and help me through the day while she sleeps. Sometimes I know she feels it, sometimes I invade her dreams and she’ll tell me later, some crazy coincidence which reminds me how closely we are connected. I try to fuel her, pour my energy to her, lift her up and give her the warm glow she deserves, place her gently on her pedestal, my Goddess, my Angel, I picture her on a throne, with white wings, cross legged and naked, beautiful inside and out, glowing with ethereal light, serene but all powerful. I wish she were here.

The West conjures up so many things for me but mostly the smiles, the joy, the walking in the sunshine, the flying, the drinks, the laughs (so hard we cried), the talks, the time in our bubble, the dancing, the making love, the outright fucking, the orgasms, the come, the squirting, the holding, the sleeping, the crying. All equal in their power, their intensity, their clarity, it’s like I can imagine any of them happening now even though most were an achingly long time ago. The world is in the grip of crisis and the distance has never seemed so great, the memories are so much more precious because of the indeterminate path ahead, the lack of a plan, the clock still ticking up, my heart literally aches but the memories provide me some calm amidst the chaos.

I’d do anything to be with her, to see her eyes, to gaze into her soul, to hold her and show her how I feel, how I love her, worship her, need to have her, soft, hard, gentle, frantic, every way possible (and perhaps some previously thought impossible). Got to be with her, need her more than ever, but the world, the universe, God, has decided we need to wait and it’s heartbreakingly hard. In the meantime, I stare into the West in the mornings and reach for her with everything I have, everything I am, my very being, my yearning conjured into life force and transported around the globe. I hope she feels that, I only want what she wants.

God, let her know how I feel, make her feel me, keep her wanting me and don’t let her give up or become bored of us, I have so much more to give, some of it she has no idea about, the well of my love, emotion, passion is bottomless for her, try to make her feel that. Help us to find a way to be together, to bathe in our love and start our chapter. I implore you Lord, show us the way.

Universe, need to talk with you a lil bit. Perhaps I let go of the rudder or forgot to focus like you taught me, I can see you are guiding a career path for me but she is still so distant, what are you up to? I’ll be in touch soon.

My Goddess, feel me reach to you every morning, it’ll come from your East and it’ll feel like the warmest most comfortable blanket, a blanket for your heart, your soul. It’ll reach inside you and provide with the softest most exquisite explosion of passion, holding you on the infinite edge. That’s where I want to be with you, feel me. I love you.

Chapters

I discussed this recently with her, my Goddess, you know who she is. If we divide our lives into chapters, it’s like reading a book. Some are good, some ok, some mundane, others are just tiring, some just become the norm, we accept it and just keep reading, no real point, turning the pages absent minded, waiting for the book to end.

And then…

You turn the page and it’s like a whole new book, the story you’ve been wanting, waiting and longing for. You can’t turn the pages fast enough, consumed, addicted, waiting for the next twist and turn, words falling over you like a warm rain, filling your heart and soul with pleasure. So much passion you are fit to burst, the paragraphs making you hot, wanting, desperate. Fulfilled, excited, surprised, arousing a side of you that you never even realized you had. This book seems to know you, be teasing out your every want and desire, holding you tight, how does it know? This is it! Opening the world to your innermost desires, consumed by love, lust, anything goes, nothing matters, destiny at last. Even when you think it can’t be enough, a new drama unfolds, happiness, sadness, needing, wanting, coming, a farewell. Just never ending, deep emotion. You need this. The pages spin past, faster and faster, reading and consuming them urgently, everything fits into place and is oh.so.right. Crazy stories and adventures, things that make you laugh out loud or shout a name in passion, wanting in the night.

A chapter ends and there seem to be a void in the book, you turn the pages and the words are distant but still there, same emotions and passions just out of focus somehow, you squint to read them but know they are there, feel them in your bones, your skin, your heart, your soul. You long for the next page, waiting for the bold type to return, must be soon. Somehow this just makes the wanting stronger, the future need more urgent “Give me my Chapter” you shout at the book.

It’s here, I feel it more than anything, any moment now I’m going to turn the page and our worlds will come together again, blowing a hole in the universe no doubt, nothing we can’t do together. Holding and loving and coming together, the world will tremble under everyone’s feet. Noise complaints will be rife. It’s here, it’s coming, I feel it..

To you my Goddess, I feel I know it is soon when we will be in each others arms again, I’ll make love to you later but you know what will come first. I love you endlessly, I’m turning the pages urgently, the next one is going to have bold font, I know it. Gotta have you, be with me. Be my valentine.

God, I’ve prayed more during this chapter than ever before, I know you hear me, show us the way, I implore you.

Universe, who’s writing this book, I thought is was me, us. Sort it out.

Dichotomy

I talk about my Angel, My Goddess often, well not so often here but elsewhere, all the time. I analyse my feelings for her often, time zones and distance will do that, not to mention lack of income. I’ve never felt the way I feel for her or the way she makes me feel and, I mean never, in all my (too many to mention) years. Sometimes I wrestle with the diversity of my feelings, from extreme to extreme, let me try to explain.

Love

I love her, truly, with all my heart. When I am apart from her, I ache. Sometimes, physical chest pains. I don’t know what to do with myself. I want nothing more than to lose myself in her beautiful eyes, hold her. Just hold her tight. Just hold her and feel her hold me back, we’ve done that a thousand times and I could do it forever. If I could, I would lay her down, naked, and kiss every inch of her face, her body, gently. Keeping my eyes on hers. Gently stroke her hair and run my fingertips across her everywhere, gentle, loving. Massage her for as long as she needs, no ulterior motive, just to make her comfortable, warm and relaxed. Take away any pain. Snuggle down with her, hold her while she lays on my chest. Hold her from behind as she sleeps, hold her face to face, while I nuzzle my face in her neck and she does the same to mine, so tight we feel safe, almost as one, nothing between us, Nothing.Fucking.Matters. I feel her pain as she feels mine, I am sad when she is sad and ecstatic when she is happy. I feel I can do anything when her hand is in my hand.

Physical

God I want her. Need her. She makes me feel masculine in a way I never believed; she turns me on more than I have ever experienced. I want her, All.The.Fucking.Time. I only have to picture her, and things start to swell. I want to take her, I want to make her come, I want to be inside her, everywhere, all at once. I can feel how she feels, I can feel how it feels to be inside her. I can picture her face while we are together and the pleasure it gives her. I can feel her buck against me, see her eyes tell me what she wants, I can hear her tell me (or at least hint) what she wants and what it’s doing. I can smell her skin, her hair, her, her. I can taste her. I want nothing more than to take her, put myself in her mouth, tell her to close it tight and push it in, just how she likes, eyes looking up at me and I can see what she wants. Come in her mouth, on her face, her boobs, her back, her ass. Inside her, everywhere. Push my tongue in her mouth and kiss her, taste myself, lick her ass, her sweet tight pussy, her clit, circle her beautiful boobs with my tongue and bite her nipples so it hurts just the way she likes it. I want to watch her come as many times as I can, it makes me hard to make her come, which works well for both of us. I want her so bad it hurts, sometimes throbbing-ly so. Anything.Fucking.Goes

These describe the extremes but it’s also everything in between, her intellect, how we understand each other, finish each other’s sentences and share our insights into each other’s experiences, “Yeah, you are so right” is something I love to hear and we both say it to each other often.

God, you seem to bring us together when we need each other, so many major life events we’ve shared passion, love, business, surgery, sickness, firing, bereavement. What is your plan? I implore you for guidance. Take care of her.

Universe, where have you been? So much of this you appeared to steer and now left us apart, what are you up to?