Today I got to watch her as she worked. This isn’t the first time but it was the first time I looked at her and watched in a way that I wasn’t caught up in myself. I saw her light up and shine. I saw her smile light up the room. I watched her glow and exceed expectations, I watched her learn and consume information. You know what really blew me away. I watched her smile.

I watched her smile not from some kind of instance of gratification, from anything I had done or wanted her to smile for, just watched her smile. Real life. Smile. I hadn’t realized how much I miss that. Believe me, I miss her smile every day and have said to her “Show me a real smile” but today, I saw it, it wasn’t caused by me, nor anyone else, just her being her. I wasn’t jealous or afraid, my heart just sung. My God, that was powerful. Powerful enough for me to want to put “pen to paper” after a little time away.

She doesn’t know I’m writing this and looks nervous on screen, I wish she’d feel what I’m doing. I made a gesture to let her know, I hope she does. Watching her face, I realize I know her better than I should, given the time we’ve known each other. I honestly think we were chosen to be together, we fit together so well, not just physically (don’t get me started) but everything else, together on our opinions but also balance where we don’t agree. Balance, the universal constant. It’s a passionate thing to be sure! Perhaps another post on that matter.

Back to her face, her expressions, her inner workings, her eyes, her mood. I see it all. Watching her work is incredible, so comfortable. I see where she is learning, consuming, another shared passion, she doesn’t just listen, she absorbs, she focusses, a shortcut to her mind. We are the same in that respect, we consume knowledge with a passion, always learning, growing. A day without new knowledge is a sad day indeed. Watching her frustrated (but amazingly patient) with technology which stands in her way, watching her follow instruction and taking it in, processing, it’s so incredibly attractive to me. It may sound strange but I can see exactly where she is at from her lips, her cheeks, her brow. Comfort level, whether processing or consuming or telling what she knows. So confident, so humble, all consuming. I love her.

I am as close to sitting with her as she talks, listens and learns as I can possibly be. It’s not close enough by almost exactly 6000 miles, but it’s incredible to watch from a distance. She is now showing her prowess by talking about what she knows, God I love that, smartest girl in the room. Consuming knowledge without breaking step. Always.

My Goddess, your are incredible. Incredible to watch and incredible to follow. You exceed in everything you do and just need to choose what that is. I wish for our next chapter every day, I want more than anything to put our intellect together and take on the world. One day closer my love, don’t stop being you.

God, thank you for keeping us together. It’s been a tough ride since October and the world has changed. We’ve spoken often, please continue to keep her safe and fuel our love. I am your humble servant as always.

Universe, good work so far but I need some results, only so many visualizations a man can do. Bring her to me or me to her. It’s overdue.