We all go through our lives, often living day to day happily enough, waking to the alarm and heading to work, doing our best to absorb ourselves in the tasks at hand, taking meetings and playing the appropriate persona for the task at hand, secretly counting the minutes until quitting time. When the conceptual bell rings for the end of the day, we head away from our desks, perhaps a drink with colleagues or a commute, perhaps sometimes straight to chores and cooking. The next day seems like groundhog day and, we think of our invented hopes and dreams, vacation plans, career aspirations, realty plans and press through our lives with perceived contentment assuming this is what serenity looks like. It is only when you cross paths with someone that makes you see the world differently do you realize that your perception of contentment was simply way underestimated.

I try to think of the moment I knew for sure and as I spin through my memories, I can picture where I was the first time I spoke to her, even then, in a professional conversation, I found myself enchanted and absorbed. I found her so easy to talk to and the phone call flew past, we talked strategy and experience, documentation and functional approaches, we both laughed and her smile was audible. I can picture walking with her to a bar after work, she chose the same cocktails as me and we sat together always. I can picture making her laugh out loud as we walked together along sixth, we walked slowly together away from the others. I can picture sitting opposite as she visited the office here and feeling excited and nervous, I can picture walking on damp cobbled streets to the pub together, feelings of protection emerging. I can remember the growing excitement as I looked forward to our weekly hours meeting (we eventually dubbed it “Couch time”) and it was always my favorite time of the work week. I can picture eating salad for lunch and she teased me with her business that may make me embarrassed, the feeling I felt when sat opposite her was pride and intrigue, way more than colleagues now. I can feel her hand as I said goodbye to her at the bus stop and I feebly tried to get her to stay out, the feeling of regret as her bus drove away and wish I’d taken the risk of being more insistent given hindsight of course. I can still feel my heart pounding as I asked her to stay and “Hang out”.

I think of the vivid memory of texting with her as she tried to find the bar we were at, the feeling of anticipation so strong, my heart racing as she finally walked through the door. Another moment of a failing confidence as I escorted her to her room and made sure she was safe. The feeling of sadness and regret drove the following day until she sat with me at the bar and later linked her arm in mine. Of course I have to mention our rain soaked run back to the hotel, broken umbrella and just laughing in the rain. Our eyes locked in the bar and even I knew it was time, to kiss her passionately and we’ve never looked back. A night of laughs and passion, Velcro and strings, of “no no no” and “oh”. As I think of the morning and the sofa of course, one of my favorite moments was waking in her arms and as we locked eyes, I knew it wasn’t a mistake on her part and finally our mutual longing had come to fruition.

I think of the time she told me she’d booked “OUR” flights as I waited in anticipation. I think of making her a ring and asking to be my girlfriend, I think of the time we laughed until we cried, of all of the times we’ve laid and listened to music together, I think of the time she said “Happy Birthday Baby”, I think of the time I simply asked her to hold me. I think of EVERY time we’ve been passionate, in more ways we could think possible, always exploring and evolving. I think of making her come without even touching her, I think of how hard it became goodbye, more and more every time.

I say all this to say, I think I knew all along that she was special and my feelings for her were greater than friends, along the way it became clear to me she was the “Once in a lifetime” love, the partner that balanced me and I balanced her too, the partner that brings my strengths out and I support her in every way. From love to passion, from vacation to career, from health to mind, from intellect to mutual fascination. The love of just holding each other and feeling the world fall away to losing ourselves in a passion never known before. Perhaps it was the moment I went to the airport after our first night and I knew I walked differently, the feeling of walking on air and the birth of Super Me, perhaps it was the moment I told her “I Can’t Stop thinking about you” and she replied the same. Regardless, I know for sure she / we / us, is simply a Once In A Lifetime love and I thank her, I thank God, I thank the Universe for ensuring our paths crossed, from that first phone call to the present day I feel blessed and.. I still walk differently!

To my Angel, you are my “Once in a lifetime”, you make the world different, the world incredible and make me strive to be better every day. Together I feel unrivaled desire, longing and love, thank you, I love you

Lord, I thank you often for her, for bringing her into my life and giving her the confidence to share her love, her secrets, her desires with me. Please bless us for evermore

Universe, good work these last few months, our visits are getting closer together, I see what you are doing, keep it up

ILY IMY IWY INY