I discovered I have an alter ego, a powerful being who is me but on the best possible day, he feels at the top of his game all the time and can reach down inside and find the strength and courage to face difficult situations with strength and determination. He walks differently to me too, a little swagger (not too much) and his feet connect with the floor just a little bit firmer. Walking speed is variable, he can turn the speed up or down or increase or decrease his gait with ease, doing so makes him smile with great confidence. He is relaxed talking with strangers, offering help, advice and kind words to those that need them, polite pleasantries to anyone he interacts with. What’s really weird is that the world, if not entire universe (hold that thought), seems to respond positively to him. How can this be??

I want to explain how I found him and what I believe is his power source but it’s important for me to spend a little time exploring the power of his presence and how it is in complete contrast to the original me. Bruce Banner and Hulk, Peter Parker and Spiderman. Total. Freaking. Opposites.

My default self, is self-deprecating and a worrier. Anxiety is well controlled but ever present, running scenarios for good and bad (mainly bad) well in advance of situations, a side effect is that he’s always well organised and prepared (even though never feels it), stumbles for words and forgets names, sweating at the mere thought of being caught out. The default walk is one of blending in and not standing out, short gait, gentle on the floor, head down… What might happen of people look at him! Considering this with hindsight, the world (and universe) clearly responds to this default self, almost protecting him from exciting and interesting times, keeping him from harm by just leaving him in obscurity. I’m exaggerating just a little but with the complete antithesis of the alter ego, the old world looks to be so beige and bland it’s almost invisible. The alter ego, let’s call him super-me is the guy default me wanted to be but didn’t know how to be or was basically too afraid to try. Don’t get me wrong, he’s no alpha male asshole, nor does he have impenetrable armor or the ability to fly (although it bloody well feels like it some times) just me on a really, really, really, REALLY good day, all.the.freaking.time.

So what’s the secret, it sounds so simple. Let me try to explain.. I’ve consumed so many audible books in the last six months, autobiographies, self help, better business, millionaire mindset, Buddhism for non Buddhists, mindfulness for the confused, be the best of you… You name it. It’s a jumble. I’ve been compiling my own little book of one liners which I’ll share these in good time in other blogs or posts but one very poignant statement springs to mind that helps to explain.

“Your intention defines your perception”.

What the heck? Seriously! It seems to be true, if I decide super-me is here and I walk about with that intention, the world (or universe) seems to respond. Imagine walking down a busy street with the intention of getting to the end in as straight a line and as quickly as possible, striding forth with confidence and a smile what happens? Everyone gets out of the way! Default me(s) (or others in their default me guise) step aside and even apologize. Again, not being aggressive or an asshole, simply smiling and choosing the path, the world rises up and supports my intention. OMG, is it that easy? It seems so. There is so much more I’m trying out but I’ll save that for another time.

“How did you find him and where did he come from?”

I hear you ask.. Well, something happened, I connected with someone like I could never have believed, on every level, every part of my being felt alive, activated, enhanced by this person (and she is another thousand stories to come, trust me). All of the cliches hit home in one huge hit, a proper life changing moment (or two, or three!). I couldn’t stop smiling, my soul was singing, I walked.. differently.. How the hell did that happen? This requires many, many stories on it’s own but that’s how it happened. I traveled home, wearily, sadly 4000 miles and when I got off the plane, I still.walked.differently. He was here. Who the f*ck is this? I’m smiling, I can’t stop, people step out of my way or interact with me positively, actively helping me with my day. I’m jet-lagged, dehydrated I thought, it’ll wear off, I thought. Nope..

He’s here to stay!

Sometimes he sleeps and sometimes I’m sad. Life goes on and things happen, but I can reach down inside and wake him up any time. Mostly, I just turn on the new walk with a smile and there it is.. Super-me.

I have so much to tell and so much to be thankful for, however.

For the incredible person I’ve met who has made me feel complete in ways I could never believe.

I thank you

I thank the universe and I throw myself upon the ground in front of every god and deity known to man.

Thank you, you’ve shown me super-me.

Watch this space universe. Shit just got real.